Faith Transitions

Faith Transitions

by Diane Linsley

Suffering is the universal experience of all human beings. There is

no escape from suffering. Religion attempts to give meaning to

suffering and help people cope with it.

Religion also provides a way to pass on values to the next

generation. It gives us ideals to live up to, along with a sense of

purpose and community. It helps us make sense of life by giving us a map to follow. But we must keep in mind that "the map is not the territory." A map can give you ideas about reality, but it's not Reality itself. The real Reality is much larger and more complex than any map.

Sadly, religious fervor may give way to bitter disappointment when life goes on hurting us, regardless of how faithful we are. Sometimes church members disappoint us when their actions don't live up to our expectations. Narcissists often use religion as part of their facade. Even well-meaning individuals who haven't gotten over their codependency may spiritually abuse others.

People who experience spiritual abuse can become jaded and "throw the baby out with the bathwater." Paradoxically, atheism is just another religion - another map - another ism.

Scientific materialism (the belief that only the physical world exists) is a popular religion. It's the cause of much suffering in the world as people expect science to solve all of their problems. Political affiliations taken to an extreme are another form of religion.

New Age is a religion that pretends not to be a religion. It has laws and rules like law of attraction, positive thinking, and a huge assortment of beliefs and practices that adherents follow religiously. New Age teachers claim that quantum physics proves their beliefs. What does the existence of subatomic particles have to do with any religious belief, New Age or otherwise? The writings of New Age teachers are easy to debunk if you have a sound rational mind.

Beyond the Map

All maps are doomed to failure, resulting in disappointment. But disappointment serves a higher purpose. It pushes us to keep asking questions and searching for answers. When childhood belief no longer works, we may be pushed into a new level of faith. This is when true spiritual seeking begins.

I became an avid spiritual seeker in 2007. Over the next 10 years, I read about 500 books on religion, philosophy and psychology.

My mind expanded as I found truth and goodness in many places and assimilated it into my map of reality, expanding my identity and my understanding of what it means to be a human being. I began to experience myself as the mapmaker. The map is simply a tool that helps me to conceptualize Reality.

What is a Faith Transition?

In A Sociable God, Ken Wilber describes the 4 stages of spiritual development: Belief, Faith, Experience and Adaptation. I describe each of these stages in the article Faith and Doubt.

Most people confuse faith with belief. Faith is the willingness to experiment on a belief. Faith requires action. When you have faith, you are willing to do an experiment to prove whether or not your beliefs are true. The experiment results in an experience - the third stage of spiritual development.

It's like doing a science experiment. You start with a hypothesis (belief). Then you create a theory based on the hypothesis. You do an experiment to prove or disprove the theory. After you have an experience, the beliefs that did not pass the test are discarded, and new beliefs are created to take their place. Then you do more experiments to test your new beliefs.

I used to believe that if I was a good girl, God would spare me from suffering. In Living with Chronic Pain, I describe how I was cured of this incorrect belief after 15 years of unrelenting jaw pain.

Once I started thinking consciously about what I believed, many old beliefs came crashing down, and new beliefs were created to take their place. I call this "changing your map of reality." It's a long and arduous process that requires much thought and effort. In essence, this is what a faith transition is.

Most people think that a faith transition means changing religions. In some cases, this might happen. But my definition is broader. I've known people who changed from being fundamentalist Christians to being fundamentalist New Agers. But they were still fundamentalists. They changed maps, but they didn't go to a new level of cognitive development.

There are people at every stage of development in every religion. Magical thinkers abound everywhere - in atheism as well as other religions. It may not be a new religion you need, but a new way of understanding the old one - a new level of development.

Faith Transitions and Anxiety

Dr. James Hollis, a famous Jungian psychoanalyst, said the following in an interview with Tami Simon called "What is a Mature Spirituality?"

"Fundamentalisms are really anxiety-management systems. That is to say, that in the face of ambiguity, which is troubling and disturbing to ego consciousness, I will grasp towards certainty. I find in fundamentalism a definition of clarity - what's right, what's wrong, who are the good people, who are the bad people. It removes from me the tremendous burden of having to make those decisions by myself on an individualized basis."

A fundamentalist is a black-and-white thinker who rejects all other possibilities because they have not yet developed the ability to see things from multiple perspectives.

Any system of thought can be fundamentalist, whether it is a religion, a political party, or a scientific paradigm. Fundamentalist New Age beliefs may include "negative thinking is always bad" or "reincarnation is unquestionably real." Fundamentalist believers don't want to hear anything that contradicts their beliefs, no matter how rational the arguments on the other side may be.

As I experimented with my beliefs, I shifted from accepting other people's maps without question to taking responsibility for creating my own map. I'm still a Christian, but I'm not a fundamentalist because I look at many different perspectives before choosing to keep or discard any particular belief.

I learned how to think rationally about Christian beliefs by studying the works of C.S. Lewis. I now feel confident that I can discuss my beliefs with any other rational person. But I know I can't have a rational discussion with a fundamentalist person. As Bill Harris says, "You can't talk another person out of their level of development."

As I studied different religions, I developed more compassion for other people. Compassion comes from deeply listening to other people and practicing seeing the world from their perspectives. I enjoy hearing other people's perspectives, so I feel sad when people are rude to me just because I have some beliefs they don't like.

It's essential to learn how to tolerate anxiety and ambivalence in order to progress. Fundamentalists experience high anxiety when confronted with other people's beliefs, which is why they push people away. I was shocked that some of the "love and light" New Agers in my life got angry when I told them that I enjoyed praying and reading the Bible. Fundamentalists can't see the contradictions and paradoxes in their own way of thinking. The ability to see paradoxes is a post-conventional skill.

James Hollis says, "In that free-floating cloud called anxiety, there are always specific fears. What are those fears? Fears of loss, fears of encountering something larger than I can handle. For example, if a person says, 'If I move in this direction, this could cost me my job or cost me a relationship.' Well, those are high stakes, to be sure. The question is, are they as high as what it costs you to live this diminished life? ... Sooner or later, I have to face my fears. Sooner or later, I have to move through what is limiting me. Sooner or later, I have to grow up and show up."

A Near-Death Experience

One of my most profound spiritual experiences was my near-death experience. It alleviated much of my fear and anxiety. Prior to this experience, it was difficult for me to imagine a loving God. I had suffered abuse from multiple people throughout my life, and I couldn't trust anyone, including God. My near-death experience changed my perception of God, ultimately leading to a whole new map of reality.

In Lessons from the Light, researcher Kenneth Ring describes the near-death experiences of many people. Each person's experience is unique, but there are some common themes.

In my NDE, I approached the Light at the end of the tunnel with curiosity and an open mind. I experienced the Light as an omniscient and infinitely compassionate Being. I asked the Light who it was. I expected to receive the answer in words, but that would have been too easy. Instead, I had a spiritual experience that opened my mind and changed my heart.

A true spiritual experience doesn't confirm the ego and its limited map of reality. It destroys the flimsy map and crushes the ego. It takes us beyond ourselves into the unknown. It shakes us to the core and challenges our pre-existing beliefs. It took me many years to construct a new map of reality that could encompass what I learned in the tunnel.

Those who fear death also fear life. Since my experience, I've been able to do things that I was afraid to do before because I realized how quickly life passes. I know what it feels like to look back on my life (in the life review) and see things more clearly. I consider every decision in terms of how it will appear when I encounter the Light again someday.

Nobody believed me when I told them about my NDE. Most people were offended that my experience didn't confirm their own beliefs and expectations. I realized that they didn't want to hear anything that challenged their pre-existing beliefs. I was alone on the spiritual path.

It takes great courage to be alone, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I no longer need other people to affirm my beliefs and experiences. What God thinks of me is more important than what human beings think of me. I have learned to trust in God.

Beliefs and Cognitive Development

Our beliefs can change over the course of our lives, whether or not we change religions. When we go to a new level of cognitive development, our beliefs have to be revised as we try to make sense of them from the new perspective.

The biggest problem I have whenever I make a change to my map of reality is people in my life freaking out. Some people are so afraid of change that they remain basically the same throughout life - with only their physical bodies maturing. People who challenge themselves continue to change and grow.

Growth can be painful, which is why many people avoid it. James Hollis says, "The people that we most admire in history are often people who led very troubled and miserable lives. But we admire them because in some way they embodied the summons of their own soul."

Are you following the summons of your soul, or are you stuck in fears of what you might lose if you change? Whose approval are you afraid of losing? Are you living your own life or someone else's?

"If the life I'm living is, in some way, trivializing the magnitude of my own soul, that's a spiritual crime. We all have an appointment with our own souls. The question is, do we show up for the appointment or not?" ~James Hollis

Coming Full Circle

I now see more clearly the map I started out with. The religion of my youth taught me values that helped me create a meaningful life. It gave me a vocabulary for spiritual concepts. It taught me basic skills for self-reflection and self-improvement. It gave me opportunities to serve others.

My current map is much more complex, which makes it more helpful for navigating the complexities of life. But it's still just a map, and I am the map maker.

Each person has the right to choose their own map. Spiritual abuse is trying to force your map onto someone else and condemning them if they don't accept it.

Our psyches are naturally resistant to major changes, which can throw us into upheaval. Signs of upheaval may include anxiety, depression and nightmares. We need to treat ourselves and others gently as we explore new concepts.

If a breakdown occurs, keep in mind that it's just your old map of reality that is breaking down, not you. You are not the map. You are the map maker. Take a break from studying, and ground yourself in the physical world, especially in nature. Get lots of sleep, and trust that your unconscious mind will sort out everything while you are sleeping.

Eventually, a new map will emerge that is more resourceful than the old one. When this happens, things will begin to make sense again.

In this article, we have gone into detail with the four stages of spiritual development - belief, faith, experience and adaptation. For a shorter overview, read the article Faith and Doubt.