Emotional Healing Process
by Diane Linsley
This is a process I teach to clients who are dealing with emotional
issues. I recommend practicing it for 15 minutes each day in the
beginning. This will train your mind to process emotions and move
into positive thinking automatically.
To do this process, find a relaxing place to sit. You will need a pen
and paper. Here are the steps:
1. Name the emotion (fear, anger, sadness, etc.). Locate where you feel the emotion in your body.
2. Write down the emotion, and give it an intensity rating on a scale of 1-10.
3. Take a few minutes to write your thoughts. Start by writing, "I feel (sad, angry, etc.) because...."
4. If fear is not the first emotion that comes up, you may want to address it, too. Fear often underlies other emotions. Write, "I'm afraid that...."
5. Process the emotion using prayer, Voice Dialogue, Tonglen, or the accepting/releasing breathing technique below. Work on one emotion at a time. There may be multiple emotions.
Another technique you can try is to put your hand over your heart (or wherever you feel the emotion), and say out loud, "Even though I feel ___, I still love and accept myself."
6. Self-soothe with compassionate self-talk. Speak to yourself out loud as if you are a parent soothing a child. You might say something like, "You will be okay. Even though you are having a difficult time, I love you unconditionally. You are a good, kind, smart person. You can do this." You might like to write the words that come to you.
7. Shift from past to future: "Here's what I can do now to improve my situation." This shifts you into the part of the brain that thinks positively and is focused on taking action to create a better future. Write down one small thing you can do today.
8. If you want to go even further with your emotional healing, do the Gratitude Process.
Pay attention to your body as you do each of these steps. Where do you feel the emotion? Notice how the feelings change as you do the process.
When you finish the process, re-rate your feelings on a scale of 1-10. If there's still some intensity, you may want to go through the process again. But don't do too much in one day. This can be exhausting and counterproductive. A little bit each day is better than a lot all at once.
Accepting/Releasing Breathing Technique
Relax your body, and breathe naturally through your nose. As you breathe in, think the word "accepting." As you breathe out, think the word "releasing." Continue breathing like this until you feel better.
Emotional Intelligence
It's important to actually do this process, not just read about it. This is a powerful process, and I want you to experience it.
I did this process every day for 6 months when I was recovering from narcissistic abuse. Once my mind was trained, it began going through the steps automatically whenever I felt a negative emotion. I now only do the process on rare occasions when I get stuck on something.
It's not healthy to obsess about emotions or to expect to always feel positive. Negative emotions may indicate that we need to make a change in our life. We shouldn't think of negative emotions as a disease that needs to be treated. We need to look for the underlying cause of the feelings and work on that first.
Be well,
Diane Linsley
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